This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
