had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
