if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
