end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize