Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
