he puts the penis in happiness.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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