I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
