My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
