Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
