my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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