pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
