so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
