Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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