oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
