White coat. Heels.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize