so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
