is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
