This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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