I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
