Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
