Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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