Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think my tv is drunk
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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