Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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