Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
