dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
