Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
