Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
