i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
