She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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