Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
