i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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