dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
