I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
