carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
