so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize