I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
