we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
