My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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