So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
