This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
