Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
