sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
