The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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