Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
