so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
