you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
