She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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