first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
