wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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