wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
