Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
