so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
my liver is dry heaving
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
