goodnight i made you a song goodbye
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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