Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
