wanna go halves on a baby?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
