Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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