I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
