Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
