i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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