You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
