we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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