babies were throwing up all over the place
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
