I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
