I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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