...so i touched it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
