Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
