I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
