Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
