Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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