I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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