and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
