So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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