I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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