you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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