Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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