Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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