my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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